Who You Are vs. What You Are

Hank is talking mainly about success, or what society perceives as successful and how the idea of success is kind of a social construct. And I agree for the most part. I’ve been struggling (since high school but especially since losing my supposed dream job) with what I want to be when I grow up. My fear is that now, at 27 years old, I still don’t know. My fear is not that I won’t be successful, but that I will have not had a fulfilling life which for me means, that I won’t have done my best to make the world a better place. How do ultra altruistic people make careers out of that? Because I’m struggling to find a field that will both support me financially and mental healthily. 

I suspect that this might be part of the Millennial Generation’s penchant for wanting to have it all. Why can’t I have a job that I actually like and that makes me enough money to live on? Is that too much to ask? I envy the people that can separate their work lives from personal lives; the people that can go to a job and leave it there. I can’t. For me it’s not that the job is who I am, but rather I have to pour myself into something for it to be any good. For me to do a good job, I have to actually care about it. And it matters to me that I do a good job. 

Recently someone at a dinner party mentioned that in Korea (I think), when they ask what you do they aren’t referring to your job. They’re asking what are you with the understanding that it’s different from your job. The job doesn’t define them. Maybe they work as a receptionist so they can be an artist. I wish Western society thought that way so maybe I wouldn’t be so caught up on it. Maybe it’s that Protestant work ethic that’s to blame… 

Basically I want to be Indiana Jones

Or Peter Pan and not grow up at all. ^_^

Honestly, I think everyone goes through the ‘Oh, Shit. I’m x years old and don’t know what I want to do!’ 

I feel these feels so much sometimes.