phoenix-falls:

nanoochka:

shadowsheyla:

avengingredmoon:

greatestgoth:

ghost-plot:

thejourneytonirvana:

lilmotel:

envyadams:

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

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this post had me in tears

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

My friend Jess and I went to Timmies late at night, and I was going to order a small hot chocolate, but I wanted to ask for an ice cube in it so I wouldn’t burn my tongue. I ended up asking for “one small ice cube please”, then laughing so hard I couldn’t finish ordering.

I used to work at a gas station and I would work days (7-3) and afternoons/nights (3-11) and i sometimes would mix up saying day and nights. Actually, no. I did it a lot. It got to the point where I mixeded the two words together. So…. instead of saying “have a nice day/night” I ended up saying “have a nice date.”

And Its catch that more but… well it stuck.

I once tried to order a piece of poppy seed cake at a bakery and asked for peepee seed cock instead.

Can’t win ‘em all.

When I was in high school one of my friends was telling me a really appalling story and I was suitably horrified and was so discombobulated that I got stuck between asserting “that’s hella gross!” And “that’s hella disgusting!” And ended up shouting “THAT’S HELLA GROSSGUSTING!” and I’ve used “grossgusting” in my vocabulary ever since

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